My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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