Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize