I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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