he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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