we made out on top of his cat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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