We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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