you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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