Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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