So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
