Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
