i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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