Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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