Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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