I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
