I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
