Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
