If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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