Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
