3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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