I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
