That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
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Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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