My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
