Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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