Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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