this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Randomize