I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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