I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
