I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize