I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
