I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it hurts more in the daytime
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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