u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
