Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
