so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
smell my finger.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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