chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
