What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize