i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
