Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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