My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize