dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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