dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
