Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
