Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
