Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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