i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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