Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
