some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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