So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
