Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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