I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
