3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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