i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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