Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
