so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
