I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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