I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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