it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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