sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
