Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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