Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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