I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
